We all know that not all parents are created equal. Some are good parents and some are bad parents. But did you know that good and bad parenting are results of both conscious and unconscious choices.
Why so?
Because good parents made it their choice to learn beneficial ways and methods in parenting. Or perhaps they have a good upbringing as well.
But, does that means that bad parents are bad by their own choice?
Nothing can be further from the truth. Bad parents do also feel that they can do better and often times, they too want to be loved and adored by their children. Often times, their inability to make the transition in becoming a better parent is because they feel overwhelmed by their personal situations.
One of the major things that causes bad parenting is bad parenting. I know that sounds a bit odd but read carefully. Imagine a child growing up in a poorly managed family. I don’t mean poor as in destitute but as in poor methods of parenting.
Their children will learn to become the parents they so despise. When they are young, they were already being programmed to become the parents they so dislike. Therefore, when they grow up, they too become the clone of their own parents.
A total MIRROR IMAGE. Which is why, in some cases, breaking that mirror is simply a must.
Now how do you do that?
Well, here are ways to go about breaking that mirror. This is best done before marriage and before deciding to have children.
Always ask yourself first.
- What kind of parent do I want to be?
- What kind of a leader do I want to be for my child?
- Do I want he or she to go through some of the unpleasant circumstances I was born into?
- If I am my child, what kind of family do I want to be born into?
With these questions, it will bring light to what sort of a parent you desire to become.After knowing what you want, it is still impossible to break the mirror as you do not know how to do it. this is the time you consult your 6 best friends on earth.
Why, Who, How, What, When and Where.
For example, if your situation is your own bad temper, then ask the following questions:
- Why do I want to change and eliminate my bad temper?
- Who do I seek help from to deal with my temper problems?
- How can I get the most benefit from the people I seek help from?
- What techniques should I apply to make myself calm down during a temper?
- When to apply the best technique for temper control for the best results?
- Where can I find more resources related to my problem?
With these 6 best friends by your side, you are on your way to breaking that old mirror image of the bad parenting traits our parents may have left in you.
You will be able to break free from the ill effects of bad parenting and begin a good and happy family of your own. Of course, anything good requires effort for maintenance.
Always remember, your journey to good parenting and break all mirrors will be life long and that you will need to always work closely with your 6 best friends from time to time. Good luck and may you be happy always!
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello Jamie,
I seldom get to read my emails, but on this note I just have one quick comment to make. I sometimes browse the internet for some tips on child rearing (not that yours don’t help) but one could never do enough research were children are concern.
I think we as adults must take note of what we do/say in front of children. Based on my research and experiences, children learn more by imitating (visual) than by listening. In short one should combine the skill of action with instruction, setting good examples for children for follow, simply practising what we preach.
Not sure if you would agree, look forward to hearing you.
God Bless!
Hi,
The first thing in morning when i come to work i await to read any mail come from you. It has helped me a lot. I feeling that i am gaining a lot from the mail and day by day becoming a better parent. Keeping writing.
luv
Mary
I had bad parenting. trying to control do a lot better but still have a long way to go . I’m a single parent its very hard .my daughter is 9 yrs.old reading &spelling 9th grade level. my son 7 yrs. has speech problem & anger problem he is in ip .your word have helped please keep sending emails now i have hurt my back .i can use this help alot.
Frank.
Hello Mr. Jamie,
I really like the way you have explained things in this blog. and i will try my best to adopt the above in our life.
Thnx bindu
Jamie,
I like your approach of telling a story while including the POINT that you want to make in it.
Keep up the good work and I’ll definitely be back for more of your writings!