If you ask any parents out there whether they’re experiencing back talk from their children at home, most of them will tell you yes. And the situation could not be much more worse.
Talking back can be among one of every parents’ worse nightmares.
Imagine asking your child to clean up their room and they go;
“Noooo, why should I? I ain’t cleaning up my room. Mummy should do it!”
Sounds familiar?
I know it’s hard, or almost impossible to keep your cool and still have a clear mind when your child talks back at you or being disrespectful with their words.
But, did you know that the angrier you get, the more likely your child will talk back? Take a moment or two and slowly think back when was the last time your child talked back at you, and what was your reaction.
It takes a lot of patience and practice to teach your child to show RESPECT and cut down on the talking back.
You have to be stay calm and be consistent with all your actions and words.
Why?
You cannot be lecturing your child for quarreling with their sibling, and the next thing your child sees is you yourself is quarreling with your spouse. Keep all these situations away from your child, especially those that you don’t want them to pick up.
Otherwise, your child will start questioning and doubting you because your words and actions just don’t click!
Here are 5 simple tips you can use today to deal with your child talking back at you.
Never Overreact In All Situations
Whenever your child is being disrespectful or talks back at you, stay calm! Don’t shout and never show your angry face to your child.
I know it’s easier said than done. But hey! give it a try next time.
You know why?
When your child realized that you’re angry, the more likely they’ll escalate the situation and make it even worse. You, and your child might want to consider a short time out for yourselves if you find things are getting out of your control.
And when you feel calmer, then you can start to address the situation to your child again.
There’s no benefit at all to lecture your child when the situation is not calm and under your control.
He just won’t listen!
Be A Good Role Model
I’ve always said this again and again, and now I’m going repeat it again.
Children learn from their parents. Both good and bad habits. When they’re young, they don’t know how to differentiate between what is good, and bad.
To them, anything their parent does, is good. And they’ll just follow! Don’t be surprised by that.
So, don’t shout back at your spouse or be disrespectful to your parents when your child is around. That’s not a good habit to show to your child.
That’s just one of the many examples around. I’m sure you can relate it to your own experiences.
Relate The Consequences
When your child starts to talk back, tell him the consequences if he continues on. Keep in mind that you don’t want to sound as though you’re threatening them. Don’t go overboard by saying you’re going to spank them hard, or ground them for the next 1 week.
The consequences could be such as limiting their time on their favourite TV show, or not letting them play with their friends in the evening.
Usually, you’ll see the best results when the consequences are something which are related to what your children like to do. Then, your child will feel what it’s really like if they don’t obey to mummy.
Just keep in mind that if you stay coll and calm, show good examples to your child, and have clear consequences set up, you should be able to cut down on the talking back at home.
It would be nice for me to hear from you if you find you’ve gained something useful reading this. Just drop me a comment by clicking on the button on the top right hand corner.
Jamie Sullivan.
P.S – If you want to learn more about how to deal with your child talking back, you can further read it on No More Talking Back.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
This is absolutely right. This is absolutely correct.Children learn from their parents. So we should always be careful while speaking. Thanks a lot for suggestion.
Jaya
Your information is great, and I will try the suggestions. I work as a Facilitator for parenting groups, and just yesterday was asked by a parent what to do about backtalking. This is great advise. I will pass this info on to my parents, as well as use it myself on my son, and my grandchildren!
Thanks so much for sharing,
Barb
You are correct,but it;s easier said then done if the child is VERY strong minded.He does not care about anything……he just continues to argue……very rarely does he care if you take things away from him…….
what can we do now when he is 17 ……
After reading your article I have looked back on the way my spouse and I have treated each other over the years. There were times when we showed disrespect to each other when upset. I can see in my 7 yr daughter that same disrespect. Now I see the back talking in a different light and realized we are the ones to influenced that behavior without even knowing we were doing it. I’m going to put in place the things you talked about with my daughter, I realize i will be in for the Long haul
Thanks for the great advice!
@Cassy – Glad to hear that you realize you’re in for a long haul. It’s never too late to fix things up. The most important step is when we realize things are going wrong and we take actions to fix it.
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.