Comments on: How Do You Stop Your Child From Talking Back At You?

By: Donna

Donna — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:15:33 +0000

The other important aspect I think has been forgotten is the reward when your child speaks to you respectfully. Praise your child when he or shemakes good communication choice and not focus so much on the taking away stuff. There should be a balance.

By: Cindy Smith

Cindy Smith — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:12:30 +0000

For the most part, I agree: first tell the 4 1/2 year old you don’t use that kind of language, don’t accept that [behavior] in your house, etc. At that age it is somewhat difficult to reason with the child, but depending on the maturity level, possibly. However, I do disagree with the statement “you do not need to earn your child’s respect”. If you treat your child with respect, which translates to loving the child enough to discipline him, and do not let the child perform unacceptable behavior WITHOUT him realizing the consequences for those actions, you will earn the respect of your children. If you don’t give a child limitations, he will continue to look for them. If the child is persistent enough, and everything else you have tried doesn’t work, I do believe that an open-handed spanking on the buttocks may be in order. That in itself will go a long way toward your child obeying your rules. I am a grandmother with many years of experience in raising children and some imput in their children’s raising. This works! I also believe that the more you tell, scold, withhold, and just in general allow the child to manipulate the situation WITHOUT his/her reaping the consequences, the more he or she will continue to disobey. Tell the child once, maybe twice, then spank him or her. That will get their attention. If you wait until you, the parent, are so totally frustrated, stressed, angry, who wins?Yes, I’m “old school” but it worked for my generation. Today, there is no respect for authority, and the prison system is full of people who weren’t loved enough to have been disciplined.

By: Georgia Johnson

Georgia Johnson — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:06:21 +0000

I read your article on ‘how to stop your child from talking back’. My child (boy ages 6) tells me ‘no’ with conviction when I tell him to do something. I am gentle but firm. I do sometimes end up raising my voice (not shouting)

If I hurt him by accident, for e.g. accidently step on his toe, he automatically does it back to me. Eventhough I explain that it was an accident he does not accept it. As a result he finds it difficult to apologise. I am worried about his behaviour as I am a single mum and while I work in conjunction with the school, his dad had different ideas and refuses to work fully with us

By: sethu

sethu — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:38:17 +0000

Yes, that is the right approach ” one need to gently explain that we don’t say these types of thing in our house, that isn’t the way that we talk with one another. Because it isn’t a proper way to speak with one another.

Remind him that you don’t say these things to any one, Yes . Try not to make it into an even bigger deal than it is, or he may be tempted ” just do it more” or even cling to it.

By: Jo

Jo — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:38:30 +0000

I would say look beyond your child’s behaviour and work out what he is trying to communicate through his behaviour. An adult could come home from work and say “boy that was a tough day at work, my boss really got on my nerves today and then the coffee machine broke”, a child cannot articulate his feelings verbally so will act them out in his behaviour. Respond with love to his behaviour not with punishments of time-outs and taking away his things – this will only make his behaviour worse as he will feel like no-one is listening to him. Punishments will cause more disconnection. Look for way to make that connection with your child.