Children experience fears for a variety of reasons. Some kids fear certain things, such as water, heights, bugs, dogs and the dark. Others have fears that stem from overactive imaginations, making them afraid of things no one else can see or understand. The only solution for parents is to help their kids learn how to conquer their fears.
STEP 1 – Give your child a rating scale from 1 to 10 for their fears, with 10 being the most fearful thing. This helps you determine how fearful they are of a particular thing and how much work you have ahead of you to help them conquer their fears.
STEP 2 – Let them write down their fears and anything associated with the fears in a journal. They can write what they fear, why they fear it, how they feel they can overcome the fear or what sort of help they need to conquer their fear. Discuss the journal with your child as you work on conquering their fears.
STEP 3 - Break the fear down into manageable steps. Sometimes kids’ fear stems from something small. For example, if they’re afraid of dogs, you might find out that they only fear dogs because they saw a scary show on television about a dog that attacks people. Once you know where the fear comes from, you can work on explaining ways to overcome that fear.
STEP 4 - Tell your kids how you cope with your fears. Let them know about your childhood fears and how you conquered them. Explain how your life changed once you were no longer afraid.
STEP 5 – Monitor shows and movies your child watches. Many childhood fears stem from an overhyped, Hollywood-type exaggeration, such as a shark breaking into a swimming pool. These images can trigger unnecessary fears in kids that change the way they live.
STEP 6 – Pick out something with your child they can hold onto when they’re afraid. When they’re very young, a toy or blanket works well. Older kids find comfort in photographs of someone they admire, a book, a biblical verse or an encouraging poem.
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
thanks you are giving me so much help thanks for the tips
Basically all the steps are right and very practical steps to adopt, as a christian i have thought my children that fear brings about torment, what is greatly feared will come upon them, it is better for them to chose to have the spirit of boldness.
I usually discourage them from watching scary films as well.
Thanks alot Jamie for all your effort on this topic.
God Bless you
Some kids have fears they can’t talk about…like disappointing their parents or fears about struggling at school and their ability to perform well AND some are surely phobic about tests/examinations. I really appreciate your blog post and would just hope that in addition to the fears kids are open about and obviously demonstrates, we need to be on the look out for avoidance behaviors that may suggest unspoken fears. Thanks for all your good work…You are sooooo Smart!!!
Judy Armes (the-homework-coach)