Whenever we’re angry with our child’s behavior, sometimes we unintentionally say negative things to them. Phrases that will make them feel even more miserable or phrases that will affect their self esteem.
We might not realize they’re negative phrases, but I’m sure these 5 phrases below would have a negative effect on your child when you say it to them.
Just because mummy say so…
This shows nothing but one thing. You’re trying to force your authority on to your child even when you do not have a good reason for that. Always try to explain to your child why he or she should not do something, and not just say “Just because I say so…”
If only you could be more like your brother or sister.
Comparing your child with their siblings could only make the siblings rivalry even worse. As a parent, we need to understand that each of our child are different in characters and we should treat them equally rather than comparing them.
Mummy was too busy to come and see you…
Now, how will your child think of you when you say this? Are you trying to say that something you’re doing is more important than them? Try to prioritize things and make sure your children are among the top 3 most important things for you.
Wait until your dad/mom gets home, then (insert disciplining action)…
Parents usually say this in relation to disciplining the child. You might sound as though you’re threatening your child, but the threat will only happen when your spouse is back.
How will your child feels then?
In any case of misbehavior, it is the best to discipline your child right when the misbehavior happens. NOT delaying it until your spouse is back!
You can’t possibly do that/succeed at that!
Now, your role as a parent is to ENCOURAGE your child, and not discourage them. If you do not want them to do a certain thing, explain to them why and not just say this statement bluntly! It will do nothing but lower your child’s self esteem and this will have a long term effect towards whatever they’re doing in the future and in life.
I suggest you take the next 5-10 minutes to think whether did you unconsciously say these 5 phrases to your child? We all human beings and we make mistakes.
The important thing is, we LEARN from our past mistakes!
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Jamie,
It seems like all your helpful information is for younger children. I have a 21 year old son, who was diagnosed at age 7 with ADD. He was on various medicines when he was younger, but has not been on anything in several years. He was recently diagnosed with ODD. He is my only child, and we are in constant battle. In his world it is all about HIM. Do you have any suggestions for help for us? Thanks for any advise/help.
Cindi