Are you tired playing referee between sibling squabbles?
Do you sometimes find yourself yelling, “STOP IT!!” to stop your kids from yelling at each other?
Well, if you have more than 1 child at home, then sibling rivalry is almost unavoidable in family life.
Whenever your children are teasing one another, or bickering over the toys, or fighting about who gets the biggest cookie, then it’s time for YOU to take the battle ground to the peace table.
You, as a parent needs to guide them to settle their quarrels so that they can stop the fighting. You need to teach them how to start a peaceful negotiation so that it will eventually lead to a win-win situation for them, and also you, the parent!
Start looking for the underlying causes.
Siblings can fight over a number of reasons.
To minimize your children from fighting, you need to recognize what is triggering all these outbursts. Find out the reasons they fight.
Are they asking for more attention from you?
Are they feeling left out?
..or are they just being bored?
You’d better ask yourself and your spouse what can you do to improve the situation if you think these are the causes your children quarrel or fight. Discuss with your spouse and see what are the next actions needed to be taken.
You can also encourage your children to talk to each other about what’s actually going on. Tell them to express their unhappiness towards their other siblings, BUT with you present.
This is important!
Did you know that talking things through eliminates sulking and whining?
You might ask, “I wonder what started this fight?
..or “Are you willing to tell me what happened?”
..or simply say, “Let’s talk about it at the peace table.”
Now, what happens next?
The best way is to let your children sort it out themselves with your presence as a meditiator.
Let them suggest a solution. Never ever underestimate their ability to solve the problems.
As the parent you are the leader in the negotiation.
Ask each child, “What is your solution?”
Remember conflicts are not all bad. In fact solving a disagreement often brings kids closer.
Now, the next time your children fight, try out what I’ve just written above.
And in Chapter 2 – TELL ALL of the Stop Siblings Fighting guide, you’ll learn how to persuade your children to open up their hearts and discuss openly on the situation.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
hi thanks for the tips but its difficult to control.i try to step on your tips. thanks for the help
Dear Jamie,
I found your tips on ’stop back talk’ & develop a mutual respect in speech & action quite useful, I also feel that the best way to win respect is by demanding the same in a respectable, a sweet loving tone rather than harshly commanding.
Thanks for the same and I would also request for some tips on how to handle bullying ways of my 7 yr old son with my younger 4 yr old daughter. I have observed him using the media influences & trying to imitate the same like acting as husband & wife with her….etc. so could you suggest how i can make them understand their behavior & make them realize their roles without intimidating them. They enjoy a bath together but mostly it leads to quarrels in the bathroom which eventually ends with my intervention.
Kindly suggest.
Thank you!